The thought of entering into a long distance relationship has been freaking me out for some months now, and as the summer days tick away the inevitable becomes more real with each passing moment. My boyfriend will be leaving to study on the East coast of the United States in two months.
In an effort to calm my nerves I have scoured the internet in search of advice. While I did stumble upon some great tips, the best advice I have been given is from friends I have met who are in long distance relationships. This blog I will focus on what I have learned and I will introduce the following lessons at the end, so keep on reading 🙂
I will keep my findings short and to the point .
The Pre-Long Distance Phase.
Or in other words “How to keep yourself from going crazy before your beloved actually leaves”
This is a phase that is not often mentioned on the internet, but is a hurdle all in of itself. In this phase I have found myself squeezing my love extra tight, smelling his hair and trying to form as much of a mental image and memory of all of the small details about him before he leaves.
In this phase I have found myself trying to preserve the relationship and also prepare it for the new dynamics to come. It isn’t easy. I have found myself trying to balance putting his feelings first since he is leaving with being honest about how preparing for the long distance relationship is effecting me.
What is important to keep in mind is that while one person is leaving, you both are going through a new challenge together. When challenges arise they can either divide and conquer you or strengthen the bonds that you both have.
The only advice I have for getting through this phase is to be completely honest with your loved one. Sometimes you might wrestle with the idea of whether or not you should mention your worries, insecurities, regrets, fears etc. to your boyfriend or girlfriend because you might want to keep things as easy going as they can before he/she leaves. I wrestle with the same thought patterns, yet have always decided that when choosing whether or not to disclose how you are feeling, it is always better to be honest.
(I have come to this conclusion because my boyfriend has drilled it into me after many discussions and efforts on my part to keep my feelings bottled in). FYI holding in your emotions will never work. Sometimes keeping your feelings in can actually create a wall between you and your beloved because doing so can break down the ability to work on problems together. Do not filter your feelings or life just because you are entering into a LDR.
Remember: Although you are entering a long distance relationship, you both are still a team.
Love, Katelynn Rose