Tomorrow marks 1 year since my boyfriend and I began the long distance part of our relationship. I can’t believe that so much time has gone by so incredibly quickly. This will not be a long blog post, but there are a few things that I have learned from being apart from my boyfriend off and on for a year now.
- Long distance is very possible: Both individuals have to be willing to make it work and you MUST be flexible. If you are a rigid person long distance may be quite challenging, which leads me to my second point.
- You MUST be flexible: There may be days where you don’t talk with your OOA (object of affection) and guess what? That is OKAY! Sometimes people are just busy and you have to keep that in mind with your boyfriend or girlfriend. They have a life that they are trying to get in order, so you cannot expect them to be glued to their phone waiting night and day for your text message. Trust that your boyfriend or girlfriend still love you and that they will call you when they can.
- You MUST make an effort to put time aside for your loved one. Personally, if I am living on my own I can easily get used to doing everything on my own and spending quality time alone. The person you are dating wants to still feel like they are a part of your life because at the end of the day they are a part of your life. Don’t exclude them just because they cannot be there in person.
- Don’t be afraid to argue. Remember that you are in a relationship, and if you are making every effort to change yourself and your feelings then you are setting up the relationship to fail. Argue smartly and don’t “hit below the belt”. Do not insult your boyfriend or girlfriend. EVER. But especially when you are in a long distance relationship. It’s a poor communication habit that only creates more problems.
- Do not have unrealistic expectations. When Eric and I started dating he would send me beautiful love letters that he wrote and daily poems he found online about how he felt about me. Now he sends me funny memes and Overwatch jokes. If I expected him to act the same way he did in the beginning of the realtionship I would not be giving our relationship the freedom it needs to grow and become even stronger. Talk with your boyfriend or girlfriend and see what you both think is realistic for your relationship.
- You can still grow together with an individual even if they are miles apart. That person will be with you at your highest points and at your lowest points and while they may not be able to physically hug you remember that their love is better than a superficial hug.
- Facebook stickers for messenger are life! They are really cute and fun to send to send to each other and that is one thing that we have managed to keep up over the three years we have been together.
- Trust that you both love each other. That is the biggest lesson that I learned and which helped me to navigate all else. But don’t be shy to ask if your boyfriend or girlfriend still loves you. Not every single day or week, but make sure that you check in and survey your relationship together.
I hope this helped! Please feel free to ask me any question in the comments! I would love to hear your thoughts or your own experiences. 🙂 If you would like to see more of us follow us on my YouTube channel. (Channel is currently on pause until I fix my crashed computer and regain my editing software 😦 )